"When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it." - Christopher McCandless

A Passion for Finding Community

I have spent the day searching for what to call my “passion” in life. I thumb through the examples of projects from previous years, trying to think of something innate to my being, like saving the planet with sustainable living or helping cancer plagued children, that drive my every move. I sit at my desk attempting to decipher what in my life has substantial meaning, something that I find so enthralling that I can fill up the space with an outpour of an emotional rendering. Now, as I look up to my bulletin board filled with pictures of people who inspire me to perform to my very best ability, it has become increasingly clear that it is within those relationships that I find my sincerest passion: the sense of a communal respect found in the relationships with others.

Growing up, I am sure others, and myself at times, viewed me as that “floater” kid: that lonely individual who never had a solid group of friends. Be it known, I always had a group that I associated with, but underneath it all, I never felt completely accepted, nor did I completely want to. There is a thrill that I find in meeting new people, and the fear of not knowing has been the motivating factor encouraging me to become an individual well suited for the modern world.

I would say, and have been told time and time again, that I am a very DEPENDENT person. As an adolescent, I had an incredibly close-knit family. My mom, dad, and two sisters did everything together – travelling, eating, attending weekend softball tournaments – forcing us to spend the majority of our free time together. This is the principal reason that I feel the need for closeness within everything that I do, whether it is orchestra, sports, or basic friendships. Even as I sit here studying I am surrounded by others whom I can ask for help at any time. Through experience, I can say that this is the antithesis that is Benjamin Stelly. This dichotomy serves as both my greatest strength, and defining weakness.

Taking a survey of the last eighteen years of my life, the friendships that I have made have been predominately superficial until the last three years. Middle school provided the stereotypical awkward encounters with friends who only were interested in those who wore Abercrombie & Fitch, or those involved in the athletics department. At that time, I knew that these were not people whom I necessarily wanted to have life long relationship with, but they taught me a lot, intentionally or not, about the person I wanted to become. Freshman year of high school was another time that I was thrown into the confused world of making friends, and sifting through the options of who to “connect” with. I played football, and therefore associated with the jocks, and assimilated my thoughts and actions as to uphold that image. By the end of the first semester, I had quit the game due to the backstabbing political nature of both the “teammates” and the coaches.

The end of freshman year and the onset of sophomore year was a difficult time as well. My dad got sick, which threw my world off balance. I compensated by expressing my anger and frustration in the wrong ways. I hung out with people who encouraged doing things that I had no interest in. I never submitted to any sort of peer pressure, but constantly being in that situation nagged at my sense of self, incessantly. It was then that I knew that I needed to make a change. Ironically enough, it was not until I faced a genuine threat to what I had recognized as my life that I began to find that solidification.

The person who I am today is a direct result of the friends that have stuck through the hard times with me. Half-way through high school, I found a group of friends in which the relationships worked flawlessly. The dynamism of our friendship is primarily due to a significant amount of good fortune; however, a lot of the fundamental companionship has been the product of individuals who all were looking for the same thing: compassion. These people and their relationships have drastically changed the person that I have become, and will continue to shape the way that I choose to live my life. Having seen the positive effects of an encouraging (not to mention comforting) community has prompted my interest in looking at what it takes to create a positive group dynamic.

The change that I worked for, and eventually found within myself during sophomore year was the ability to recognize my own flaws. Once an individual can submit to the dangerous notion that they are not perfect (and never will be) THEN they can find harmony in others. In my English class that same year, we read The Stranger by Albert Camus. The book follows a young man, Meursault, who has no concept of what society deems appropriate, and simply feels no emotional tie to anything. At all. Interestingly enough, I had a conversation with my friend recently who argued how he found a strong personal connection to this character, for nothing conjured up any particular reaction within him. There was a time in my life that I felt much the same. I did not necessarily care how my actions affected others, and went about my daily business without any emotional pull towards the things that I did. I realize now what a dry life I had been living.

There is a similar, more contemporary work that expresses the same notions. In 1996, Jon Krakauer compiled the diary entries of a young man named Christopher McCandless who spent his life in remote isolation searching for what significance the world had to offer him. Two quotes from the movie Into the Wild, which was released in 2007 and based upon the novel, ring true to the way that I view my life:

“The core of man’s spirit comes from experience”

Ever since I saw the movie six months ago, this quote has come to mind on an almost daily basis. It connects to an idea that was presented to me last year. There is a school of thought that argues that an individual is most clearly defined by the five closest people they associate with. I find it very intriguing to evaluate who I am, and what my values are, as a unique citizen of the world, and compare those with the people who I feel closest with. It is also a reason that I take interest in forging new relationships, whereby I am constantly changing and forced to reassess what it means to be ME. There is nothing more naïve than someone who accepts things for what they are, because that is what was designated by the precedent. In addition, I try to take in everything that I can, and learn from every aspect of life. There is nothing that I value more than learning, and the passing on of knowledge, combined with the experimentation and trials of finding out things on my own.

“Happiness is only real when shared”

As much as I appreciate the times that I spend discovering by myself, I have to compliment that by sharing my experiences. The second quote examines: one cannot find contentment or fulfillment without basking in his joys with others. Last year, during the Austin City Limits Festival, I was able to see Damien Rice who is my all-time favorite singer/songwriter. I was there with a group of my friends, none of whom had any attachment to liking his music. When the concert started, I felt as though I was experiencing a spiritual sensation unlike anything before. I was so excited to be in that current state, screaming the lyrics that had run through my mind so many times; yet, at that instance, felt so much more powerful than ever before. Two years earlier I was able to see Coldplay, a close second to Rice on my list, at the same festival, however the experience was not as emotional. I enjoyed the concert, nonetheless, but can only think that having my friends there with me made the concert.

I have spent a significant amount of time in the last couple years trying to decipher what it means to live a successful life, and these two quotes sum most clearly articulate conclusions that I have come to. Finding people with whom you can share yourself and experiences with is something that I have found a sincere passion for. I know that the relationships that I have with others have provided significant meaning to my life, because I give them so much attention, and I am willing to give myself over to others, under scrutiny and open to vulnerability. I believe that in the end, this can only lead me to be a better person, and by sharing this excitement with others, eventually benefit them as well. 

Word Count:
Total: 1506
Without Quotes: 1492

Blog URL:
www.ofmiceandben.blogspot.com

Unity and the University

We live in a society today where education comes intrinsically. Basically from birth to death, we are learning. It is something that I have always enjoyed. The ability to attend daily lectures by individuals who dedicate their lives to the art of knowledge for the hope that one time their student may actually retain some of the messages that they work so hard to eloquently display is outstanding. It is therefore that much more important for us, as pupils of the education system, to do our best to uphold the understanding of learning for the betterment of the whole. John Henry Newman says that “education is a higher word; it implies an action upon our mental nature, and the formation of a character; it is something individual and permanent” (x310). I find it overwhelmingly intriguing to be a part of a generation that will lay the foundations for the future people of the world to build upon. We have the ability to make or break society as we know. It is for that reason that I find such discomfort with certain aspects inhibiting growth.

The concept of education has evolved over centuries, but the fundamentals still resound. It is the idea that the interplay between learning and teaching, and an omnipresent knowledge creates a diverse society who works towards the idyllic image of a better tomorrow. It is even stated in the Constitution of Texas that it is “our duty to adopt a comprehensive and well regulated system of mental and moral culture” (X304). It is here that we must stop and re-collect ourselves, for many impediments stand in the way.

There are two things that immediately come to mind: ignorance and competition, and both have occurred at a variety of occasions throughout my education journey thus far.

First, we shall try and tackle ignorance. If there is one thing that I despise more than anything in the generation that I call my own, it is this. High School was full of bull-shitting, back-stabbing, beer-guzzling nobodies who for some reason believed that they were above everyone else because of area code division lines, or how many pairs of Sperry shoes they owned, or how much horse power they had, but when it came down to calculating just how much potential, or how much integrity that any of them had… I believe they would be reevaluating themselves at this moment. I debated my peers in many classes throughout High School, and not only can I understand, but I can respect an individual who fights for their cause with the right justification. Many people get away with skimming the rim on various topics by simply reiterating what they hear their friend, or probably their parents say a good twenty minutes before, but I think that it is time that we make a stand for our own voice, and have the balls to say the things that we believe, because it is our constitutional right. NOW, let me preface this… here is where people fall significantly short of doing so properly. Know your shit, I have said this much. But more importantly, know where to draw the distinction between holding others accountable for the things that you believe Robin Varnum, in an essay the history of writing instruction at Amherst simply says, “Be able to say only what you can for yourself” (X343G).
I feel very privileged to grow up in a society today where the government has worked their way towards providing the freedoms that our forefathers fought their lives for, but at the same time I think we are far from truly being proactive about what is on paper, or voiced to us by the faces of modern politics. There is a fine line between speaking being free to speak on your own behalf, and trying to lay down absolute guidelines for every individual to follow. It is not an individual’s right to call someone else out on something for which they believe is wrong. I am not trying to references the relativity factor of things that are widely viewed as wrong or evil, but the moral obligation of the controversial topics faced by the ever changing culture of today.

When choosing the college that I wanted to attend, many factors came into play, but the most significant for me had to be the place. Growing up in Austin has taught me how to accept diversity and change in every day occasions, and also to voice my opinion. It is an honor to live in a city where differences are apparent on every corner. The University of Texas is an extension of this. I feel, more than ever, that I am not only allowed, but encouraged, to speak up. To me, this is the workings of a good educational system. Students here are provided with the fundamental elements of an array of topics to learn and explore what the have to offer, and by doing so, allows them to become more articulate and knowledgeable people, who can make a voice for themselves.

The second topic inhibiting the learning process from being as successful as possible is competition. Please understand me correctly when I say that I LOVE COMPETITION, I thrive on it, and it is what drives me to do my best at everything that I do. Competition in this sense is a widely accepted theory. Dr. Tom Verhoeff discusses the issue of competition in education in an essay, and asserts that “a good competition should challenge the participants to give their best, or preferably more than that”. The competition that I am discussing can be derived from things like jealousy and greed, and is what motivates people to become manipulative and lose sight of what is really at hand.



I have fallen many times to the plague of competition, and have had to slap myself in the face to come out of myself and realize that other people’s successes are just as important as the trials that I may be facing. The years spent in high school I like to consider a growing experience as a whole, it was where I learned how to slide by not truly applying myself fully, but still reaping the benefits of getting the grades that I wanted. That, however, has not been the case as for my last 4 weeks on campus. The Architecture and Plan II discipline that is laid out ahead of me has proved, and will continue to be, very trying. Never have I felt surrounded and stimulated by such intelligent people, comparably on two whole different levels. Plan II the students are outspoken, dominating, and articulate, and for the most part I feel like I am surrounded by a whole lot of… myself. (?) Architecture is where I have faced the majority of the competitive nature that sucks the happiness out of learning. It a program designed very similarly to the Discover Learning Project, who states its goal is “to improve students’ abilities to think and work creatively and independently” (X343C).Being such a subjective study, I feel vulnerable to criticism 90% of the time in presenting material that I slave over, and realize the need to grow the extra skin to put up with it, but there are some people who say snide comments intentionally to break others down, and having recognized that, I feel I have the upper hand. There is no need to demean others by making insinuations or being passive, its just rude and immature, and really the goal that we are all working for is to come out of college, and represent the university by being the most successful that we can… AS A WHOLE.

As I said before, the University, and the whole prospect of the world of academia has only barely worked its way into my life, but I cannot wait to explore more of what there is to learn. I cannot help but feel that I owe my sincerest thanks to the fathers (and mothers) of education to shape me, and frame me into a better person because of it.

"Life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself" - George Bernard Shaw

Contemporary Music and the Freshman Condition

Nostalgia.

Dave Matthews Band – Stolen Away on 55^th and 3^rd

Hello again
Seem like forever between now and then
You look the same
I mean you look different but you haven't changed

Funny to think how the time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again
Stole me away
First time I saw you, you did me that way
What should I say?
I saw you laughin' and I was afraid that I'd get in the way

I did not think I would see you again
So how have you been?
Do you remember, lose everything

Funny I think how the time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again

Stole me away
First time I saw you, you did me that way
What should I say?
Saw you there dancin' but I was afraid I might get in the way

I did not think I would see you again

Funny to think how the time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again
Funny the feeling when forever ends
Stole me away
First time I saw you, you did me that way
What should I say?
I saw you there dancin', well I was afraid I might get in the way

Never thought I would see you again
How have you been?
(Been) watchin' the years as they trickle away

It's everything, how time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again
Steal me away

It's like the first time I saw you, you do me that way
What should I say?
See you here standin', and I am afraid I might get in the way

I never thought I would see you again
How have you been?
Do you remember I mean everything?

You steal me away
Like the first time I saw you, you do me that way
What can I say?
That's you here standin', well I am afraid I might get in your way.

Coldplay – Viva La Vida

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People could not believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries Wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

Hear Jerusalem bells are ringings
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh

Exile.

Damien Rice – Cold Water

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now,
Or am I lost?

No one's daughter allow me that
And I can't let go of your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
or am I lost?

oooo, I love you
Don’t you know I love you
And I always have
Hallelujah
Will you come with me?

Cold, cold water surrounds me now

Women:cold cold water surrounds me now

And all I've got is your hand
Lord, women :can you hear me?
Lord, women :can you hear me now?
Lord, women :can you hear me?
Ahh...

Am I lost with you?
Am I lost with you?
Am I lost with you?

Loss.

Patty Griffin - Rain

It's hard to listen to a hard hard heart
Beating close to mine
Pounding up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep
With all this rain falling down

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Its hard to know when to give up the fight
Two things you want will just never be right
Its never rained like it has to night before
Now I don't wanna beg you baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm still alive underneath this shroud
Rain Rain Rain

Spring Awakening – Those You’ve Known

Those you’ve known and lost still walk behind you
All alone, they linger till they find you
Without them, the world grows dark around you
And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you

Those you’ve pained may carry that still with them
All the same, they whisper “all forgiven”
Still your heart says their shadows bring the starlight
And everything you’ve ever been is still there in the dark night


Though you know you’ve left them far behind/And the northern wind blows
You walk on by yourself and not with them/The sorrows, your heart goes
Still you know they fill your heart and mind/There are those who still know
When you say there’s a way through this/They’re still home, we’re still home

Those you’ve known and lost still walk behind you
All alone, their song still seems to find you
They call you, as if you knew their longing
They whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling

All alone, but still I hear their yearning
Through the dark, the moon alone there burning
The stars, too, they tell of spring returning
And summer with another wind that no one yet has known

Though you know there’s so much more to find
Another dream, another love you’ll hold
Still you know to trust your own true mind
And on your way, I’m not alone

They call me, through all things
Night’s falling, but somehow on I go
You watch me, just watch me
I’m calling, through longing

The northern wind blows
The sorrows, your heart’s known
I believe
They’re still home, we’re still home

Now they’ll walk on my arm through the distant night
And I won’t let them stray from my heart
Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light
I will read all their dreams to the stars
I’ll walk now with them
I’ll call on their names
And I’ll see their thoughts are known
Not gone
Not gone
They walk with my heart
(Not gone)
And I’ll never let them go
(Not gone)
I’ll never let them go
(Not gone)
I’ll never let them go

You watch me
Just watch me
I’m calling
I’m calling and one day all will know


Identity.



Damien Rice – Cannonball

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer EACH DAY
Still I can't SAY what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer TO ME
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't WANNA scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

Alanis Morisette – Tapes

“I am someone easy to leave”
“Even easier to forget”
A voice, if inaccurate

Again: “I’m the one they all run from”
Diatribes of clouded sun
Someone help me find the pause button

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren’t my own
Wreaking havoc

“I’m too exhausting to be loved”
“A volatile chemical”
“Best to quarantine and cut off”

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren’t my own
Wreaking havoc

“I’m but a thorn in your sweet side”
“You'd better off without me”
“It’d be best to leave at once”

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren’t my own
Wreaking havoc

Love.

Dave Matthews Band - Two Step

Say, my love, I came to you
With best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what
Im seeking
Love, you drive me to distraction

Hey my love do you believe that we
Might last a thousand years
Or more if not for this?
Our flesh and blood it ties
You and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
These things we cannot change

Hey, my love, you came to me like
Wine comes to this mouth
Grown tired of water all the time
You quench my heart and you
Quench my mind

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
The things we cannot

Celebrate, you and me, climbing
Two by two, to be sure
These days continue, things we cannot change

Oh, my love, I came to you
With best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what
Im seeking

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
Things we cannot change...
Things we cannot change

Ray Lamontagne – Shelter

I guess you don't need it
I guess you don't want me to repeat it
But everything I have to give I'll give to you
It's not like we planned it
You tried to stay, but you could not stand it
To see me shut down slow
As though it was an easy thing to do
Listen when
All of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonna do
You will shelter me my love
And I will shelter you
I will shelter you
I left you heartbroken, but not until those very words were spoken
Has anybody ever made such a fool out of you
It's hard to believe it
Even as my eyes do see it
The very things that make you live are killing you
Listen when all of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonna do
You will shelter me my love
I will shelter you
Listen when
All of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonnado
You will shelter me my love
I will shelter you
If you shelter me too
I will shelter you
I will shelter you

Instrumental.

Jan A. P. Kaczmarek – Finding Neverland Soundtrack

Gustavo Santaolia – The Wings

E. S. Posthumus – Nara

Yann Tiersen – La Valse d’Amelie

Yann Tiersen – Rue De Cascades

Clint Mansell – Summer Overture

The Whole Brain and the New Reading and Writing

Sitting in my dorm room, I have finally realized what it means to grow up in a technologically advanced generation. Try walking down the residence halls on any university campus and find a room that does not have a computer. I would be stunned if someone could prove me wrong. However, the easily accessed information that modern technology provides has plenty of down falls. Of course there is the obvious malfunction of a machine trying to perform to its full potential, but more than that, we have become a generation so focused on cramming our every thought online. As Web 2.0... The Machine is Using Us presents to its audience, we have all become connected through the easily accessed information one may propose online. We have all become connected through the interworkings of a medium that 10 years ago was unfathomable. Who can know what is to come for furuture generations. Parents across the globe complain about how connected their children are via the internet, and can be rightfully disconcerted due to the vulnerability one puts himself at risk to presenting his or her every thought into a blog for millions to read, if the intentions were there. I like to think that the academic advantages of modern technology outweigh the setbacks, but it is hard when so many times people abuse the privilege. Checking facebook, and setting a new “profile picture” has become the lingo of the youth of the nation. We have moved from expressing our emotions vocally and on a more personal level to writing out our feelings like automatons with head phones in our ears, removing ourselves from the exterior environment and physical contact with other human beings. I find it hilarious that after playing on the new Nintendo Wii, a screen comes up suggesting to the player to take a breather and enjoy what the outside world has to offer, as we get so caught up with pixels and special effects. A dorm room, probably the closest an individual will come to living with someone else before finding their significant other, still can be manipulated so that the two inhabitants do not even have to have a full conversation before lying down to sleep.

College, as a whole, has opened my eyes to different aspects of my life. For as long as I can remember, I always aspired to do great things, and never really knew the direction that I would take in order to do that. More and more throughout high school I tried to define who I was as a person, and unfortunately faced my immortality head on after my freshman year. That summer, my father was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, and passed away subsequently the summer before my senior year. Stephen R. Covey says “you don’t have to wait for circumstances or other people to create perspective expanding experiences. You can consciously create your own.’” (131). For the final two years of my dad’s life, I put everything that I knew on hold, and for the first time, did not know what move to make next, until recently. I feel that it is a necessary point, and integral part of knowing who I am as a person, for one to know what I have been through, and although may seem rather bluntly stated about the last three years of my life, I figure the sooner the better and to put it out there. Discussing death and isolation, and the unknown was difficult for me to encounter at first, but I think has made a seriously proactive effect on my life. As stated previously, I demand greatness from myself, but until I had to face my own mortality did that mean anything to me. Knowing that life was a gift, and short lived, precariously perched teetering for one small slip for the day for everything to end made me think of what sort of life I was going to aspire for. As a student, I feel as though my biggest asset is my ability to delve into a variety of different tasks, and give them my fullest and best attention, and most of the time doing a very thorough job. Something that I have struggled with is the knowing that I will probably never be the best in one specified area, but the consolation prize is being a sort of Renaissance man, and finding success and fulfillment in what I know I have the capability to do. It is this standard of living, if you might call it, which guides my every action and motivates me to persevere through challenges. Likewise, it makes certain decisions difficult. When I was applying for colleges, I searched for areas of studies that intrigued me, and found that mostly it was a very limiting decision. On the one hand, I have a deep appreciation of architecture, and would love to explore what it all has to offer. However, declaring architecture as my one focus would be blasphemous considering I have never really explored what design and creativity has to offer me, and I know that the mathematical and structural components would not present a balanced life that something in the humanities could do. On the opposite spectrum, I looked into smaller schools that had strong liberal arts programs, but knew that I would be settling by not allowing myself the opportunity to discover things I hadn’t touched before. Reading the excerpts from Covey rang true to the way that I feel about human nature as a whole. I am looking for balance. The brain is something that I know I will never understand, and am constantly amazed and baffled by everything it can do, conceptualizing, understanding, creating, remembering …etc. Utilizing the brain to its fullest extent is something that I feel everyone should strive for. Embrace what life has to offer. Grow, experience, learn.

A lot of the ideals and beliefs that I have created for myself are direct results from the experiences I have been through, and the way that I chose to react. For me, knowledge is essential to success, whether it be the knowledge of self and environment, or rather the textbook knowledge preached by the greatest lecturers of the world. I have come to understand, and continue to challenge, who I am as an individual, but have discovered many ways in which to compliment my conceptualization of ideas, and how to articulate what I know. I am a product of an overly analytical education. My senior year English IV projects varied from interpreting the sexual connotations of Shakespeare, to finding the complementary elements of Bronte’s Wuthering Heights. In contrast, I am equally a very visual person, and have to see the end result before trying to pick my way through the elementary levels of a project. The most interesting, and best way for me to express a topic of discussion is through multimedia projects. In Bump’s essay "Left vs. Right Side of the Brain: Hypermedia and the New Puritanism, he quotes Healy who says “‘Video is persuasive… it pulls on emotions and evokes mood more readily than does print’” (Article 10). For some reason, the presentational quality of film, or visual material, induces a much more genuine approach to discussion than does the written. Take film as an art form for instance. The other day I listened to a lecture on the effect that film has on viewers. If you were to compare the differences between a novel and its counterpart as a movie, the two would probably be very different. Everyone has their own idea of how a book should be interpreted, but by seeing the same story through another person’s eyes presents the viewer with sometimes a contrasting idea, motivating individual interpretation.